In this Series on JT, Jordan Dodds talks candidly about topics from the perspective of an autistic adult, how he sees the world every day and the little or big things that may be barriers or obstacles. In this entry, Jordan Talks candidly about the mental health issues he has battled with his autism.
Autism and mental health go hand in hand together, it’s a well-known fact that people with autism are more prone to suffering from mental health issues, through the stigma still held by a sway of the general population through to the communication issues that can occur due to the nature of autism.
when dealing with autism, every day can be an uphill battle, the socialisation with the population can lead to overstimulation and meltdowns, in some cases the smallest change or disruption can make the person feel that the world is imploding.
Factor in the mental health issues and it can be worse, conditions such as anxiety, Low Mood, Poor Self Esteem and even depression are common with those with autism and because the population allows bullying to happen to people with autism.
Going through both Primary and Secondary School, I’ve been riddled with bullies attacking me for my Asperger’s.
In primary school, instead of encouraging me to talk about my feelings when I was being teased and threatened I was told I was immature and ended up being isolated in a quadrangle where I was watched by everyone. Made to feel like a freakshow act because I was autistic.
And in Secondary School, Every thought I ever conceived was gaslit underneath me, I would try something new and be punished for it. Yet the bullies who phycological tortured me with threats of violence and destroying my work and assets did something new, they were applauded.
Both times I descended down a dark path, I withdrew from everything. I wouldn’t talk at all, I would punch and attack myself when something went wrong and at one point, tried to suffocate myself with a pillow.
In the two years of bullying at primary, I tried on two occasions to end my life and in the years at secondary school, my self-esteem had crashed so far that even the littlest thing made me attack and punch my self.
It took a lot of counselling to put everything in the past, although I managed to bounce back and become myself now, I’ll never fully heal the mental scars, but I can make a difference and that what I do.
Just by Sharing my story I can encourage others to be open about mental health, Why is there such a taboo when talking about mental health? its no different from a physical injury. The stigma is poisonous and especially to those with autism, this poison can be deadly.
Don’t ever suffer in silence. Don’t be afraid of what the world thinks, as RuPaul always says “Unless they pay your bill, pay them, bitches, no mind”. if we are open then we can learn to love and if you can’t love yourself, how the hell can you love someone else?
That was the Autistic Perspective for Journaling Thoughts, Written by Jordan Dodds